Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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