You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
