I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
