do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
