Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
