Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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