yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
