im drinking this country out of the recession.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
