so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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