No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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