come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
