Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
