i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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