Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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