There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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