maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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