It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
