I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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