Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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