Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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