Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That accounts for only three of the penises
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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