Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
