I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
