Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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