Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
