No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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