I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
