Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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