Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
