Plan B is the new Plan A
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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