Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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