Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
