Will you blow on my dice?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
