so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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