the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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