is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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