Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
