ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
