The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
