Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
