38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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