well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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