did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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