marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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