so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
