i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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