What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
