if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
