You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
