I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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