so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
