real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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