i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
