sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
