i jhust puked up my retainher.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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