seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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