look no pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
