I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sorry about my life...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
