Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
