dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's blow job season.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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