if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
