My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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