You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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