i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
