Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
do nipples grow back?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize