They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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