You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
