Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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