haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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