some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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